• Heidi J. Smith

When You Feel Like a Failure as a Mom


Have you ever felt like a failure?

I have, especially in motherhood. I look at other moms and wonder how they balance everything so well. What is their secret?

Buckling my seatbelt and adjusting my mirrors, I glanced at my purse and mentally doubled checked that I had everything. Diaper bag with diapers, grocery list, package to be mailed, and CLEAN kids with shoes and coats. Check:)

I backed my mini van out of the garage as the kids' Veggie Tale CD blared and snow fell on my windshield. The kids and I darted in-and-out of the post office, several stores, and only had the grocery store left.

Smells of fresh bread and donuts greeted us as selected our "car grocery" cart and started picking out fruit. While I opened a ziplock of Cheerios for one my kids, I noticed the other one chomping on something.

I stopped pushing the cart and looked closer, "What are you chewing?"

"Gum," she munched and pointed with her chubby finger to the entry way mat.

NO! How many people walk on that mat? How many germs are in your mouth? Trying to remain calm and steady my pounding heart, I replied, "Please give mommy the gum."

"Mommy, I want, " she pleaded with big eyes and sprinted down the aisle.

Grabbing my cart and kids, I dashed after her.

Long story short, she swallowed the already-chewed gum and burst into tears as bystanders gawked at us. We left and didn't even finish shopping.

After I got home and peeled the coats off of my kids, I hung up my winter coat and noticed a pair of underwear stuck to the velcro of my hood!

I had been all over town and no one bothered to tell me! Completely embarrassed, I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

Now my kids are teenagers, yet I still struggle with feeling like a failure when I yell or blow it with my kids.

How do I stop feeling like a failure?

The secret is to stop comparing.

God created everyone unique with different strengths and weaknesses, and He knew exactly where each child should be placed.

It doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to improve or that we won't make mistakes, but we need to recognize and receive grace.

"For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?"

1 Corinthians 4:7 NIV

Rather than compare ourselves with others, we should measure ourselves with God's measuring stick. Our value is in Christ, and we should use our strengths to the best of our ability for His glory.

On this Mom's Day, remember you are enough by God's grace even if you kids chew already chewed gum:)

Happy Mother's Day!

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Heidi J. Smith