• Heidi J. Smith

Faithfulness Covers when Life Crumbles

Photo credit to Vivian Rishe from Unsplash

Lying on the table, I tried to calm my fluttering stomach, while my eyes stared at the screen. Sounds of a phone ringing and shoes squeezing from down the hall left my ears straining for something else.

The sonographer pointed out the tiny body parts as the heartbeat jumped and thumped across the monitor. Joy filled my heart. But then she paused and frowned, "The heartbeat is too slow and indicates a problem."

The news stunted me as the tears slipped down my face.

A few weeks later my abdomen cramped, and my precious little one joined Jesus in heaven (2 Samuel 12:23). Grief swallowed me as my mind spiraled down. Why God? Why my baby? How can this be your will? I thought you loved me.

Have you ever experienced a tragedy? A situation that crumbles your world and casts doubts on your faith.

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart." Psalm 91:4 NIV

When I face tragedy, I question where God is and wonder why this is happening to me. Sleep evades me and pain consumes me. Will I ever feel like going forward?

Yet when I shift my gaze from my circumstances to the Lord, I realize He is there. He is holding me close like a hen spreading her wings over her chicks. The shadow of his wings is dark, but He is faithful.

Walking close to Jesus doesn't guarantee pain-free living, only that He will walk with me through crumbling times and help me glue the pieces of my broken heart back together again. More of Him and less of me.

My miscarriage happened several years ago, but the anniversary date still stings. I'm thankful that someday I will see my heavenly Father and my precious little one again.

And through it all, I'm thankful for the Lord's faithful covering as I journey through life.

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Heidi J. Smith